


A Little Privacy Please?!

by Salazar101



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Comedy, M/M, sex with an audience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-17
Updated: 2010-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 20:37:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salazar101/pseuds/Salazar101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shaun and Desmond just want to have sex but the peanut gallery won't shut up</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Privacy Please?!

**Author's Note:**

> Published September 17th 2010

"Oh god I want you right now, Des," whispered Shaun against Desmond's kiss swollen lips.  
  
"Ah fuck yeah," breathed Desmond, one hand sliding down Shaun's back to cup his ass, "I'm going to fuck you right into that bed..."  
  
"Yes, Desmond!"  
  
They stumbled their way back from Shaun's work station and up to the bed in the corner, falling down over the covers in a tangle of lips and limbs. Desmond couldn't keep himself off of Shaun, not with that sexy accent...and...jesus he wanted him NOW!  
  
"Oy! You go get him Desmond!"  
  
Desmond pulled his lips away from Shaun with a wet noise and sat up on his arms to glare at Rebecca, "Hey! We talked about this!"  
  
"Jeeze okay I'll shut up..." Rebecca turned back to Lucy who Desmond could see rolling her eyes even across the room.  
  
"Bloody tarts," muttered Shaun before pulling Desmond back down into another frantic kiss.  
  
"Under the blankets," commanded Desmond after they'd ripped off each other's shirts, "Or Rebecca's imminent wolf whistle will kill my erection."  
  
"If that happens I will kill her," said Shaun curtly, sliding under the blankets with Desmond, his crafty fingers immediately working on the button of Desmond's jeans, "Because I need this cock in my ass like I need air so you'd better fucking get to it Desmond!"  
  
"They're so vulgar," said Lucy to Rebecca, but loud enough for them to hear.  
  
"LUCY YOU SHUT UP YOU BINT!" screeched Shaun, erupting out from under Desmond to give her the fork.  
  
That had the girls tittering.  
  
Desmond pushed Shaun back down and flipped him on his stomach, "Pretend they aren't there...it's just us..." even as he spoke he grit his teeth against their high pitched laughter.  
  
It wasn't like they had a choice. They'd agreed that they were all adults and could deal with someone using the bed for sex or masturbation and would turn the other way. They _couldn't_ stay cooped up like this without relieving _some_ tension. It sounded great on paper but in reality Rebecca couldn't keep her big mouth shut and just egged on Lucy who thought antagonizing Shaun and Desmond was _hilarious_.  
  
Desmond pulled some oil out from under the pillow and slathered his fingers in it. Well HE didn't find it hilarious. He would give anything for a little privacy. His thoughts returned to the task at hand as he slipped one finger inside Shaun, "You're always so tight," he growled, getting back into the mood and pushing in a second finger.  
  
"Ohhh," moaned Shaun, "Tight for you, Des..."  
  
"Bet while he's sitting at that desk he flexes his butt just to stay tight," said Rebecca, the peanut gallery.  
  
"Oooo...!" Shaun was about to unleash the krakken of his displeasure so Desmond derailed him with a violent kiss. Once Shaun got going there was no way Desmond was getting him back for sex, and then he would die of blue balls. He made a mental note the next time he took a shower to jizz in her specialty shampoo.  
  
"Mmmm," the distraction was a success and Shaun relaxed back under him, opening his mouth to Desmond's tongue and groaning as he pushed in a third finger, "Ah!" Shaun broke away from the kiss, "I'm ready Des, stick it in me I _need_ to feel you!"  
  
"Just like you _needed_ to feel him on our kitchen counter," said Lucy.  
  
"And our dining room table," added Rebecca.  
  
"The Animus."  
  
"The floor."  
  
"The-"  
  
"CAN WE HAVE A LITTLE PRIVACY, PLEASE?!" roared Desmond, grabbing Shaun's hips and raising his ass in the air. Shaun made a small sound of surprise at the sudden move while the girls just laughed in Desmond's seething face, "Ignore them ignore them ignore them," he muttered to himself, spreading the lube over his cock and pressing it back against Shaun's stretched hole.  
  
"Please say something sexier than 'ignore them'," groaned Shaun, voice muffled by the pillows.  
  
"Oh, uh, yeah baby I'm going to fuck you so hard," stuttered Desmond quickly.  
  
"Hnnn good enough," muttered Shaun, "Now stick your cock in me."  
  
"Sir yes sir!" Desmond licked his lips and pushed into Shaun, giving a low moan of pleasure as Shuan's tight walls squeezed around him, "Oh yeah....uh Shaun so good..."  
  
"Uhh oh Shaun oh baby oh baby oh baby!" squealed Rebecca, sending her and Lucy into new fits of hysterics.  
  
Desmond grit his teeth so hard his jaw began to ache, "I am going to murder them," he growled, bending down so only Shaun could hear him.  
  
"Not if I get to them first," hissed Shaun, turning his head to the side so he could shoot a furious glare in the girl's direction, "Now fuck me so hard I can't hear them over my own screaming!"  
  
Desmond thought that was a fantastic idea (though flawed because Rebecca had the amazing talent of always being the loudest person in the room) his hips sped up, slapping against Shaun's firm backside with every thrust and making the red haired man moan and yell below him. Desmond panted as he was lost in the feeling of Shaun's tight heat gripping and stroking him the mockery from the peanut gallery faded to the back of his mind until he didn't hear it at all. Just Shaun. Just their panting, the vulgar slapping of flesh, the other man's harsh cries of pleasure. The sheets tenting over them were stifling but Desmond dare not throw them off, they were his only barrier between him and the rest of the room.  
  
"Oh fuck yes Des, oh god yes harder!" Shaun was almost sobbing, drool soaking the pillow below him as he started to push back against Desmond.  
  
"I'm going to come in your ass," grunted Desmond, reaching down to grab Shaun's bobbing prick and stroke it in time with his hips, "I'm going to fill you until you drip out all over the sheets-"  
  
"Oh god I hope not," came Lucy's voice from 12 million miles away.  
  
"-and when you release all over my hand I'm going to make you lick up your own come," continued Desmond as if he hadn't heard her, "What do you say to that you English whore?"  
  
"Come in me! Come in my fucking ass, Des, fill me up until I can't take anymore!" screamed Shaun, he was always rather loud in bed once Desmond got him going, he clenched his fists into the pillows beneath his hands, hips rocking to both get Desmond's cock in deeper as well as pushing them forward to fuck his hand.  
  
Desmond loved watching Shaun lose himself like this, abandoning everything all because of the pleasure Desmond was giving him. It was fucking sexy as hell. Desmond's hand was faltering on Shaun's cock the closer he got to orgasm, he had the same heady feeling one gets when they hold their breath too long, "Shaun I-" he tried to pant out a warning but his cognitive functions had shut down too much for that.  
  
Shaun seemed to get the idea because he _squeezed_ around Desmond with a wicked smile on his face. Desmond's hand spasmed on Shaun's length as he came inside him with a yell, hips jerking spasmodicly as he milked out every last drop of come into Shaun's waiting hole, "Ahhh Desmond you bastard!" Shaun came as well and Desmond had enough mind left to cup his palm over the twitching dick, capturing every rope of semen that spilled forth.  
  
With a slow moan Desmond pulled carefully out of Shaun and helped him turn onto his back, "Open wide," he said smokily, laying over the slightly smaller man and holding out his come covered hand to him.  
  
"Mmm," Shaun grabbed Desmond's hand and ran his tongue over the palm and between every finger before sucking them into his mouth. Soon Desmond's hand was completely clean of the sticky white fluid and Shaun was smacking his lips before pulling Desmond down into a open mouthed kiss.  
  
"Well that was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen," said Rebecca in what had previously been a loving silence, "Oh, except for all the other times they have sex."  
  
"REBECCA YOU BLOODY TART I AM GOING TO-"  
  
Desmond flopped onto the bed and put his arm over his eyes as Shaun launched himself naked from the bed and went chasing after a hooting Rebecca. Goddammit he couldn't even enjoy the afterglow.


End file.
